problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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