I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
