you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
