let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
