playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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