I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
