This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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