My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
