Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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