its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It's blow job season.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
