I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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