When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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