it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
This can only be settled by a dance off.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
last night I used snow as a chaser
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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