How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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