you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
