Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
