Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
