Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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