Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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