i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
