Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
