We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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