I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
