Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
