She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
