do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
how can u be prego again
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize