So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
