3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
