She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
