this beer tastes like vomit already
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just gargled with NyQuil
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize