it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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