He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
