Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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