So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
