Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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