Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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