we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
