He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
