Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
