I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
