I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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