Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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