yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
