watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
where are my eyebrows?
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