I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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