So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I need water and some morals
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
