nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
