i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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