is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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