marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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