i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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