I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
