no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
