girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
