so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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