I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
