I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
