Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
