Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I deserve to be covered in dicks
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
