its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize